Hello there, Mortals.

So another Valentine’s Day has come and gone, and I can still feel the memories of unresolved feelings churning in my mind.

I have had many loves in my twenty-nine years, but only a few really stand out as painful reminders of how utterly careless I’ve been in my love life. I feel the need to discuss it somewhere and to someone, so what better place than here?

I want to get certain emotions out in the open, to tell some of you (who may be reading this) how I feel. Luckily for those of you that this directly concerns, I will not disclose your identities.

So first up… Let’s call her Harley (after one of my favorite Batman villains).

So “Harley” came about after a rather not too great time in my existence, and I can honestly say I’ve never really loved anyone more than I did her. She was my level of geek, she intimately understood how I was hardwired as a person, and she somehow saw the man behind the beast. The failure of what could have been the greatest relationship the cosmos has ever witnessed doesn’t belong on one head. We both failed each other in different ways, and though she has moved on from me and found herself a loving man, I still have never really moved on from her.

My failure haunts me every day. I all too often compare other women to her, and compare the happiness I felt around her to what I feel around others. It’s an unfair comparison, and I’ve doomed many possible relationships due to this bias.

So…second up on my list…

Let us call her Sega (yes, after the 90s game system, don’t judge).

Sega was a victim of my horrid people skills. She was (and always shall be) a radiant beacon in my kraken-infested life. She put up with so much unnecessary drama, and I put her through a lot of drama. One thing I’d like to say here:

Sega (you probably know who you are), I have loved you every day since the day I met you. I am so very sorry for not being the person you deserved, and I am absolutely happy that you found that one person that did deserve you. I hope with all of my heart that he makes you the happiest person alive for the rest of eternity and beyond.

And thirdly… I shall call you Red.

You make this list because I have failed you, both as a friend and as a lover. You’ve been fantastic to me for the few years we’ve known each other, and I really haven’t been that fantastic to you; I’ve neglected you and taken you for granted. Your beautiful heart deserves so much love and compassion, and you’re one of few I have judged separately from my previously mentioned comparisons (because you totally stand out on your own).

So to Harley, Sega, and Red: You three are absolutely beautiful, both in body and spirit.
I adore you all and I always will.

 

“From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe: She landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office, and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.
‘After all this time?’
‘Always’ said Snape.”

“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows”, chapter 33, page 687

 

This is the denizen under the bridge, signing off.